And The Rest Is Silence

Jyoti Bhasker Chowdhury (OMI)

It was a day a uncertain achievement and superficial pride, a day without a date, a day to forgive but not to forget, a day for Pain and Prophecy, a day for holding back your tears... it was the day when for the first time I faced a monster called " Defeat ". For the first time I felt I was outwitted, outsmarted and outspoken. I was feeling like Caesar and fate played it's role as Bruetas. A Solitary defeat is more painful than a collective defeat and among my ruins was a soul too string to speak, to weak to feel. I was numb , then suddenly I realized that I was facing my first defeat as a debater.

My goals have sometimes eluded me. I was lost in the dust of incredible success and hard fought defeats but I was never so afraid to feel that moment of truth..... that truth is " Every Hamlet meets his Laertes ". And I've met mine ...... soon you'll meet yours.

I used to be a very ordinary kid who loved cricket, friends and st. Joseph. My dreams were centered on scoring goals or hitting a good knock or hanging on to great catch. But after I started thinking like a debater the sense of cherished thought has disappeared. Now I can think clearly, I'm a thousand times more confident and practical but some where deep down inside, I miss my old self.

Life is all about missing and feeling for what you don't own or have. you may think I'm discontent about life..... you're right...... if nature wa not discontent no river would have searched for the sea, no sunlight would have reached our eyes..... so being discontent is natural and I'm discontent about life but not depressed.

My love for debate is not actually love but an infatuation and most of the love we feel is friction between reality and infatuation. I was always possessive about the approach of my debate, the way I attacked the opponents, the way I tried to squeeze the living day lights out of them....... but I forgot, love possess not, nor it'll be possessed. You'll forget it when you're on the stands, waiting for victory that will help you to climb the ladder. " Victory 'o sweet victory be my lover, wait for me, I love none but the." I waited for victory and it came in a shiny armor but inside it was a magician of illusion and aggressiveness..... I followed them and got into a maze of glory and sound....... " Life is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and glory which signifies nothing ."

I think a tale that is so much dependent on sound and glory can never be significant enough but the million dollar question is. " Does it not signify something ?" It has to signify something....... and may be victory signifies only victory, success withholds success. I have seen the most successful era of debate movement throughout a lens and felt everyone was too hungry and when you sing to the hungry he listens with his stomach not with his soul. Now I know a true great man is he who would be master by no one. And on that note I have to adjure with sigh that I have not met anyone great ( I wish I had ).

I've always felt that the leadership of the debate should be left only to the debates and for that personal believe I ahd to face some rather small bashing from few of my so called allies (?). Among those were two of my non debater President and G.S. friends of certain chaining club. I've never bothered to reply them but may be this time I should clear myself. It is the observation of mine that you two have strong shells but have you ever noticed that animals with strong shells never had any back cones......... and your color changing attitudes only emphasizes on that.

I have learnt silence from the most vocal, toleration from the intolerant, and defeat from the victories but yet I'm so very ungrateful to these teachers. My discontentment about debate has reached it's content level and only here I know had the pleasure of meeting a few good men and women. As I try to put my arms around yesterday i just wanted to thank St. Joseph for it's uncompromising love, Mr. Moinuddin Ahmed: you were light in the dark, Imran Khan : the Godfather, Shafquat Rabbe : Remembrance is a form of meeting, Newaz bros and their great friends : The real in us is silent; the acquired is talkative, Tasmia : Turtles can tell about the roads than hares, Sir Carmel Lobby : Learnt what dedication is all about from you, Annek : You should've been a Josephite ( don't worry nobody's perfect ), Swarnali : The truth is to be known always but uttered sometimes...... You're one of the best achievers around ........ don't lose your sense of modesty, Sadat : If you would posses you must not claim. Lastly I propose a toast to B.D.F without it I would have been unwise and inexperienced. If you look you'll find that I was never the emotional type, so you may ask why bother being his way at the end, then I'll answer with a line from Kahlil Zibram's " Sand & Foam "..........

" Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, to grave to laugh, too focused to be vitreous and too selfished to seek other than itself ."
 
 

And the rest is SILENCE.............................
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All Right Reserves by Simon Sohel Baroi (C)
JDC 2000